Beatriz opens up on disordered eating

It’s not easy to share something deeply personal; but when you know sharing your story can help countless others, disclosing your tale may become even slightly easier.

Take Stephanie Beatriz, for example. The Brooklyn Nine-Nine actress teamed up with InStyle to share her struggles with disordered eating and trying to understand the kind of eating disorder she has. However, she wrote that her disorder wasn’t easy to pin down.

“I don’t purge, so I’m not a bulimic. I do eat, so I’m not anorexic. I’m what I like to call ‘a disordered eater,'” she wrote.

Defining “disordered eating” as an “umbrella label” for those disorders that are difficult to categorize, Beatriz went on to describe the characteristics of her own affliction, referring to food as “both the remedy and the punishment.”

“I used disordered eating to try to keep myself small. I used my job as an actor under constant scrutiny as an excuse, a reason to hurt myself with food. I often used food to self-medicate, if you will, with a cycle of bingeing and restricting. I used the size of my ass and flatness of my stomach as the answer to everything that was wrong with my life and why I couldn’t seem to feel really, truly happy.”

Beatriz continued, discussing the “voice” in her that perpetuates her disorder, the voice that will “never, ever be satiated” but one that she is starting to figure out. While she admits that sorting through the complex issues that comprise disordered eating is difficult, Beatriz wrote that she is persistent in her pursuit of making sure she knows that she is worthy and beautiful.

Closing with a note to those sharing similar struggles, Beatriz urged readers to take some time to understand their own “little voice[s].”

“Start teaching her and yourself that you are worthwhile because you are a MARVEL, my dear,” she wrote. “You just don’t know it yet.”

To read the piece in full, click here.

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